Can i not drive my cunt home
Sponge bath it is.
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
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