I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
Randomize
