Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Randomize
