His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
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