The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
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