D3 body, D1 cock
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
Is Oprah even human
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
what the fuck happened to the tacos
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
Randomize
