Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
Randomize
