you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
Randomize
