And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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