Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
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About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
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i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
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