i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize