I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
I have fence marks all over my body
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