He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
Randomize
