the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
Randomize
