nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
Randomize
