Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
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