Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
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