home. puking in laundry basket.
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
Randomize
