Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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