Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
Randomize
