It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
Randomize
