i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
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