I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
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