i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
Randomize
