He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
Randomize
