I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
no you cant smoke seaweed
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
Randomize
