He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
Randomize
