wakey wakey hands off snakey
Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
Randomize
