I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
