Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
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