im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
Randomize
