You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
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