I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
Still dying that you shit outside
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
Randomize