I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
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i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
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Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.