After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
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you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
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I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
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