Texts From Last Night

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  (586): View more from Michigan

  Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy

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  (586): Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy http://tfl.nu/kc5d
  Replies (3) Good night (950) Bad night (431)
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  (517): View more from Michigan

  I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.

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  (517): I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans. http://tfl.nu/ad7f
  Replies (8) Good night (884) Bad night (3435)
• Favorite

  (304): View more from West Virginia

  nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores

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  (304): nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores http://tfl.nu/a1sm
  Replies (12) Good night (3671) Bad night (494)
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  (502): View more from Kentucky

  I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer

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  (502): I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer http://tfl.nu/cllh
  Replies (118) Good night (23397) Bad night (2462)
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  (517): View more from Michigan

  My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?

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  (517): My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school? http://tfl.nu/rw32
  Replies (62) Good night (904) Bad night (4232)
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  (201): View more from New Jersey

  You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.

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  (201): You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!" http://tfl.nu/rb09
  Replies (23) Good night (11603) Bad night (988)
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  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.

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  (215): There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am. http://tfl.nu/7bo4
  Replies (5) Good night (3201) Bad night (994)
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  (817): View more from Texas

  Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.

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  (817): Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer. http://tfl.nu/3l5u
  Replies (6) Good night (3039) Bad night (720)
• Favorite

  (424): View more from California

  you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes

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  (424): you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes http://tfl.nu/ok45
  Replies (5) Good night (2843) Bad night (616)
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  (217): View more from Illinois

  I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?

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  (217): I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high? http://tfl.nu/4i2m
  Replies (23) Good night (2781) Bad night (656)
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  (407): View more from Florida

  Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.

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  (407): Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30. http://tfl.nu/fgkn
  Replies (13) Good night (769) Bad night (1171)
• Favorite

  (519): View more from Ontario

  he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him

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  (519): he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him http://tfl.nu/dkoo
  Replies (3) Good night (1224) Bad night (631)
• Favorite

  (404): View more from Georgia

  I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.

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  (404): I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers. http://tfl.nu/2ka7
  Replies (1) Good night (1369) Bad night (485)
• Favorite

  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook

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  (610): So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook http://tfl.nu/uied
  Replies (1) Good night (225) Bad night (486)
• Favorite

  (817): View more from Texas

  There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this

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  (817): There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this http://tfl.nu/hvu0
  Replies (1) Good night (904) Bad night (310)

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