I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
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