i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
It was confusing and full of hummus
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
These 25 People Had Very Inappropriate Sexual Relations(hips)
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
These 31 People Are Lazier Than You Could Ever Imagine
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.