youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
