Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.