maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out