No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
Randomize
