i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
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