was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
Did I show you my penis last night?
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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