I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
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