I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
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