I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Randomize
