Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
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