Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
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