she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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