i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
Randomize
