Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
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