She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
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