i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Randomize