Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
Randomize
