I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Randomize
