Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
Sometimes, when I'm driving alone I talk to myself in a Russian accent so I think it's my mommy and it calms me down.
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
Randomize