I'm so fucking centered right now
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
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