god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
Randomize
