I don't think brook has ever known best
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
