I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
Randomize
