Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
Randomize
