My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
Randomize
