i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
i will never coherently bang her
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i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
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You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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