Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
Randomize
