Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
Randomize
